Hey Joe,

So keep in mind that this is just one guy’s opinion. Testing is really the only thing that will ever really tell you what’s working and what’s not, but Ill give you my impressions as  go through everything. I may be wrong, I may be right, but I won’t pull any punches, so please take anything I say that is negative as constructive rather than critical. All the feedback I offer will be offered from the perspective that a Weezer fan is your target audience.

The Ad:

1. I’d like to know how old of an audience you are targeting. Go too young with an ad and target like this and it won’t likely work.

2. The image is a but preppy but Weezer has that preppy/punk dichotomy going as well, so the image can work (and is from what your saying) but I think you need to be careful because without a punk edge I think the balance tips to the preppy thing.

3. The ad copy is sort of coming off as Weezer was good, but not that good, and you are better. That’s a pretty bold statement that would kick off a lot of resistance for me. I suspect that you might be getting clicks because your claim is so bold, and people are thinking “yeah, right” and then just wanting to see if your page somehow proves them wrong. And so far, it’s not.

4. The headline is going to be too long for anything but desktop display.

5. The headline pushes barbershop quartet which conjures up the wrong thing for me. It could work if you painted a more punky sonic picture that aligned it with a Weezer-like sound, but right now it just says unbelievable music. I just think to myself… “there is no such thing as unbelievable music” and I walk away with no idea what you sound like. All I picture is barbershop quartet; which wouldn’t interest me by itself.

6. Your relevancy score is still a bit low. You ideally want a 9 or 10, with an 8 being about as low as you can usually afford. The relevancy score is just an indicator, but it’s indicating that your ad’s performance is still a bit low. 

7. Your CPC is still a bit high. Not terrible but you want to cut that in half. Improving your ad’s relevance will probably get you there.

8. Conversions will often be missed by FB’s tracking. I find them to typically be about 10% short of the actual number. You need to go off of aweber for actual numbers and just use conversion tracking as an indicator.

The current squeeze page:

1. I get what you are going for with the funny headline, and I think that could possibly work. But it’s not congruent with your ad so I think there is still a message to market mismatch with this headline/ad/combo.

2. The subheadline is way too long and fatiguing to read. The refund thing is just confusing, even though I know you are just trying to be funny. In my opinion it’s just too messy and pushes the core content too far down on the page.

3. I don’t personally like the horizontal image because it pushes the quotes too far down on the page and makes it easier to miss the body copy, which is fairly important. Instead I would personally use a vertical image with the quotes to the side, so that section is one blog of content and the eye can easily jump from section to section, digesting as you go.

4. The image is too small and far away. I don’t get a good sense of your personality and the suit and acoustic guitar dows not make me feel like you are similar to Weezer.

5. It;s hard to tell where the quotes end and the copy begins, which makes me want to just scan instead of read.

6. You are missing key elements n your body copy. The format I recommend is approximately four paragraphs. Tell them who you are (biggest bragging points), tell them what the music sounds like, tell them what they are going to get, tell them what to do.

7. I don’t love the sharing icon on the squeeze page.

8. I personally find the proof widget you are using distracting. It’s an interesting idea, and I can’t say that it’s not helping. But it just keeps making me stop reading.

9. I think the squeeze page could be polished up a bit and modernized. Little things like a less bright red font color, different fonts, etc, might modernize things a bit, but this is much more easily done with the MMM4 theme. Fair enough if you want to just keep things simple for now.

The old squeeze page headline:

1. While I don’t think this is the most exciting headline, it’s at least more of a match. That said, I think it’s just a bit boring.

Summary:

I think that there are a lot of little formatting and conceptual issues here that can be easily remedied. It will probably also pay to try additional targeting options. But if I was the marketing consultant on this I would overhaul your brand a bit and give it more edge, and try to tap into what is ultimately exciting about what you do. For all of their preppy qualities, Weezer is a pretty edgy band that appeals to a lot of intellectual music listeners. I think you really need to tuck in the corners of your brand and the language in your copy to speak to that audience on their level. To do that I would be a bit less bold, be careful not to put down the band who’s fans you are targeting, and make it more instantly clear that you represent the very qualities they appreciate. I think this needs to be reflected in both the ad, and the squeeze page.

Hope that helps and is received in the supportive but constructive way that it is intended rather than as critical in any way.

Hey Joe,

I just kind of want to stress that you don;t need to try and actually look like Weezer, you just need o exude an air that appeals to that audience.

Looking at what I;ve seen so far I would think Quincy Jones and Stevie Wonder fans would be a much harder sell. It's not so much about what you sound like (at this stage), it's about what people will be convinced you sound like after reading your copy and looking at your image. From what I've seen you are much closer to Weezer than either of those two.

I still think you may be able to make Weezer work. I would use the image that did well in your main ad, and also add that to your squeeze page, and then address the other formatting issues. 

I think you can convey the pop/punk/nerd-rock vibe of Weezer with your tone and copy, as easily as with the image.

I think the area that needs work right now is just putting yourself in the shoes of your prospect. I think right now you're the guy walking into a biker bar wearing a suit (figuratively speaking). You're saying you love Harley's but I'm not buying it based on the overall presentation. I might be off base there and maybe it's just me, but I have a pretty good handle on Weezer fans and I'm not convinced yet based on your presentation. But I think you can get there. I'd at least put a little more effort into that before ditching it. It could be as simple as few simple tweaks.

If you haven't already watched the "copywriting shortcuts" lesson then I would watch that before proceeding. 

Sounds good Joe. Be sure to contact Aweber if you are having issues. They have phone support and are very helpful.

Hey Joe,

Glad you got that sorted.

How many clicks have you received before you have concluded that it's not working. Remember that it takes hundreds before there is statistical significance. Because we can't always afford that we often shut things down earlier than that, but we are still talking about several dozen at a minimum.

I personally feel like you are getting clicks because you are specifically mentioning an album that people love, to people who love it. But then you are missing when it comes to aligning yourself with that interest.

There is even a bit of a potential put down in that headline. As a guy who grew up listening to G N' R you would probably get me to click if you insinuated that you were better than Appetite for Destruction, but I would be highly skeptical once there. Your page would need to be pitch perfect with a lot of quotes to back up your claim for me to buy it. I think that's where the breakdown is for you. I also just think the copy is a bit flat.

I'd be more focused on what people love/miss about the Blue album and invite them to experience something similar, in a slightly more humble way. And I'd also probably avoid then jumping into a Beach Boys comparison unless that is what you discuss in your main copy. 

But again, I'm just giving you rapid fire feedback. You know your music and audience better than I do. So take it all as the one-guy's-opinion that it is.

I wouldn't be too frustrated. I don't think it necessarily requires that much work. You know the target audience is responsive. You know your image has worked. You just need that attention getting claim that will pull people in and which will also be congruent with your offer. 

Why don't you close your eyes and imagine yourself standing at the merch table after a show. No one is coming up and buying anything from you but you really need the gas money. You see someone walk by wearing a Weezer T Shirt. What could you say to that person to get them to look in your direction?

Feel free to throw a handful of things out right here in the forum. Happy to workshop it with you and at least offer feedback.