Hi Nicholas,

Steve here.  I appreciate the effort you're putting into this.

That said, while we'd love to review that for you, you've unfortunately given us a preview link, which only you can see when signed into Wordpress. 

In order for us to be able to see it, you'd need to either publish the article and give us the published link, or just copy and paste the text right here into the forum.

Thanks!

Hey Nicholas,

You can hide content by using plugins to hide the category and hide it from the home page, however, these days I usually just publish funnel content as a page rather than a post. That removes it from the feed completely.

In terms of feedback on the email...

I don't love that you say "if I'm still here". It sounds a bit lacking in confidence. As if you think many people will have unsubscribed by now.

I like the basic sentiment "The blues is an anesthesia for the broken hearted and alienated." but you just sort of say it and then offer me a link. I think you need to say it, and then explain how it's relevant to your post in a way that makes me feel like it's necessary that I click, either for curiosities sake, or because it might be relevant to something I care about.

As for the post... I would use an image that is at least 632 pixels wide and select "none for alignment. I just think it looks tidier. 

I think there is a lot of great stuff in the post. But when I first clicked on it I was completely confused as to why I was seeing a pic of military men. So I think you need to connect the theme of your email a bit more with the theme of the post. I think the post starts out strong but then meanders a bit and brushes over some important details. You said that you were kicked out of the military for being "too crazy" but didn't really explain much else. That sounded like a story in itself. And overall the post started off as a story, but then seemed to turn into more of a timeline, that ultimately ended in a summary of your feelings about the blues. I think you could just do a little more to show me the drama of the situation rather than telling me in step by step descriptive phrases. Does that make sense?

Long story short, I think you have some great stuff here and you are on the right track. I just think you need to think about the person you are talking to a bit more, imagine what would be interesting to them, and then tell the story in a more engaged way, just as you would if you were sitting across from someone. I think this lesson might help: https://www.mmmanifesto.com/in.....shortcuts/

Hope you don't mind the direct feedback. Not trying to be critical at all. Just trying to help. As I say, I think you have some really good stuff here.

Ok, cool. Glad you didn't mind the direct feedback.

Good luck with the next pass and let me know if you have any questions.

Hi Nicholas, you just need to turn on the comments. There is a little box that you need to tick on the page editor. Just scroll down. If you don't see it, go up to the top of your page to where it says something like "screen settings" and click the drop down. You will see an option for comments. You need to tick it so the option will display further down on the page.

I think the post is much improved. However, for me, the biggest issue is still the line "I was a little too crazy and the doc said I was unfit for duty". That is a huge statement about who you are and your life. But you just sort of brush over it and move on. I feel like it needs to be treated carefully and explained because it sticks out as an enormously sensitive statement about your mental health, and it feels odd to not understand the context. 

To me, if someone explains that they've had mental health issues and overcome them, I can accept and embrace them. But if they reveal the same issue without explaining any context or healing that they have gone through, then it makes me wonder how stable they are and puts me on guard. Does that make sense? For me that is the main aspect of the story that was missing before, and it's still missing in my opinion.