Hey Greg,

I think there is a lot of room for improvement here. You're looking good in one regard which is that your video is great and people love funny music. So on the strength of that alone you should get some people. However, from a copy and page layout perspective I think it's a bit disjointed.I'll list off my concerns.

1. The first thing I see is your opt in form which is a little like having a salesmen reach for your wallet before he tells you what he's selling. It's not that bad, but I think it's a mild turn off.

2. Your headline cop doesn't really promise anything. There is no "what's in it for me" aspect to this. As I start reading I don't know who the "Top Secret Gowld Club" is yet and therefore, why would I want a newsletter?

3. I don't think a newsletter is enough of an incentive unless it promises to provide a benefit. IE, a funny video each day, etc. But I still think you'll do better to give away some music.

4. By stating how little you will email me you actually make me think about spam, which I wasn't before reading that. You also limit yourself in terms of how much you can email. I think that's a big mistake. While I know many musicians are nervous to email too much, the reality is that the more you email, the more money you will make. You WILL sometimes need to email more than once or twice a month.

5. The video is awesome, but it doesn't really tie into any copy on the page. For example, if you said watch this video to see what we're about and then center your email address and we'll send you the track for free, it's placement would make sense. I'm also very nervous about people using music videos on the sales page. It satisfies the curiosity so much that it seems to usually lower the conversion rates. I think you'd do much better to rely on copy that promised to send people the latest single from one of the funniest comedy rapper duos in..." or something to that effect. I'd then send subscribers to your video as part of the relationship building process and to help close the sale.

6. You remind me of spam once again after the video, makes me nervous.

7. I get where you're going with the bad review quote, and I can see doing that. But I think if you're going to do that you REALLY need to do that as your entire angle. I'm not sure it will help you here. My guess is you would do better to follow up with good press or fan quotes to reinforce why people should do what you're telling them to do.

In a squeeze page you basically want to tell people what they can get, why they should want it, and how they can get it, and then remind them again of why they should want it.

I know that might sound like a bunch of negative stuff, but I want you to get yourself set up right. The good news is that you have some great musical tools to work with, changing a squeeze page up is simple.

Cool, hope it didn't come off as too critical. there was a lot to cover so I just kind of got right to the point. I find that artists have a real hard time wrapping their heads around the fact that people would sign up for something that they haven't heard or seen. But I'm yet to see someone do better by giving away a sample of the music on a squeeze page (not saying it can't be done though). The curiosity factor is a big part of this. if your copy is good and you create a brief, but enticing argument as to why your music is worth listening to, a good percentage of people will sign up.

Think of it like this. If you read an article in rolling stone about how great a band was and the description matched what you want from a band, and then they offered you a link to a download... I'm sure you could envision signing up for the download without hearing or seeing anything. I would argue that hearing or seeing something would be more likely to kill the romance and cause you to pass. Same is true with the squeeze page. Your job is to condense that fictional Rolling Stone article into just a few sentences, make it about yourself, and make that your copy for the squeeze page.

Then, once you have the email address you have some time to build the bond and connect with some of those people that wouldn't have immediately purchased (or even signed up) had they listened to your music first.