Hey Rachel,

In terms of feeling that the "before you go" line is cheesy... I would urge you to always go back to the USP... I know we spoke about the USP on the phone the other day but what have you settled on? The language you use should be consistent with your USP.

If you are going with the "unapologetically female indie singer songwriter from Australia" angle that we talked about then you just need to ask yourself if the language you are using is consistent with that. To me, it's not quite. It is a little slick and "marketing-speak", which would not align. If you agree, you should change it. I find the best way to do that is to actually say the copy out load. Step away from the computer and imagine yourself speaking to a person who is across the room from you but who just bought an album... How would you pitch them without sounding cheesy? Just write down whatever comes out of your mouth.

The only other thing I don't love is that the photo stands out a little odd. Perhaps a border of some sort might help it sit a bit better?

If you ever consider taking another shot, you might also take a photo of you holding all the music, or sitting in front of it all laid out on the table. But the photo you have isn't bad. The colour difference is just a bit harsh, to my eye anyway.

Sorry, the product image. I like the image by itself. It just stands out a little abruptly. Design wise, I think it could sit in the page better is all.

I think it looks pretty good. I like what you did to the product image. It blends in MUCH better. The only thing that I thought as I went through everything is that the sub headline's "making the shift" and "what you get when you join" could stand out more. Particularly the first one as it kind of blends in with the image and text below it. I might also add an ellipses after Making the shift, or maybe even both of them. But I'm really nitpicking there. Looks pretty good to me.