Hey David, glad to hear you are at least getting conversions. While those numbers are low, it can be just one or two simple changes that get you up where you need to be.

Overall I think your squeeze page looks good. But for me, I think the headline is awkward. "OF TUNES WITH FUNKADELIC VIBE AND ROCK ATTITUDE… is awkward to me and probably confuses me about the sound more than it explains what you sound like, and the use of "air guitar" takes my mind down a sort of cheesy rock track, and has me wondering what air guitar has to do with it all.

I also would use the first paragraph to explain your biggest accomplishments as an artist and use the second paragraph to describe the music. If you don;t feel like you have accomplished anything yet (touring, radio, awards, album releases, sales stats, etc) then what you have is fine.

But long story short, I would think more about your target audience and what is really going on in the minds of your ideal fan, and start the conversation there.