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7:57 pm
February 5, 2016
Offline
QuoteHi John and everyone!
Do you guys have any suggestions on this page I've made? Thanks!
9:29 pm
June 7, 2011
Offline
Hey Richard,
Short of having any data to factor in, these are the areas I think can be improved...
1. I think the headline feels more like a modified version of mine than it does a genuine attempt at getting into the head of your audience. It may work, but f it doesn't, that would be something to look at...
2. I would always use an image of you, the artist, rather than a logo or album icon.
3. The formula I recommend for the supporting paragraphs is essentially: Four paragraphs. The first telling people who yo are (with a focus on your biggest accomplishments). The second being a paragraph that describes what the music sounds like. The third being a paragraph that tells people what they are going to get, and the fourth being a paragraph that tells them what to do next. It looks like you have some of those elements but not all.
Hope that helps.
Having trouble with your marketing? Wish you could have an experienced direct-to-fan marketing expert look over your actual campaigns, music, or content and offer feedback? Or perhaps you’re just looking for a little one-on-one assistance so you can ask questions that pertain to your specific goals and get a second, more experienced, perspective? Click here to book a session with me now.
5:23 pm
February 5, 2016
OfflineHi John!
Here is one my tracks so you can get an idea
https://www.youtube.com/watch?.....s8-W_gfOxU
Its very similar to Pat Metheny
7:30 pm
February 5, 2016
OfflineJohn Oszajca said
Hey Richard,Short of having any data to factor in, these are the areas I think can be improved...
1. I think the headline feels more like a modified version of mine than it does a genuine attempt at getting into the head of your audience. It may work, but f it doesn't, that would be something to look at...
2. I would always use an image of you, the artist, rather than a logo or album icon.
3. The formula I recommend for the supporting paragraphs is essentially: Four paragraphs. The first telling people who yo are (with a focus on your biggest accomplishments). The second being a paragraph that describes what the music sounds like. The third being a paragraph that tells people what they are going to get, and the fourth being a paragraph that tells them what to do next. It looks like you have some of those elements but not all.
Hope that helps.
Hi John!
Here is one my tracks so you can get an idea
7:31 pm
February 5, 2016
Offlinehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?.....s8-W_gfOxU
here we go didn't want to paste in other post
2:24 am
June 7, 2011
Offline
Thanks Richard. By short on data I meant that I didn't have any campaign results to go on, more than the music itself. But the music sounds very cool.
Let me know if you had any questions about the feedback.
Having trouble with your marketing? Wish you could have an experienced direct-to-fan marketing expert look over your actual campaigns, music, or content and offer feedback? Or perhaps you’re just looking for a little one-on-one assistance so you can ask questions that pertain to your specific goals and get a second, more experienced, perspective? Click here to book a session with me now.
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